oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
