You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
