PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
