I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
