GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
