Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize