I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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