so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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