Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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