Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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