I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
