I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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