Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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