you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
