im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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