I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
