sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
