so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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