She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
