Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
