Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
