dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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