have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
