He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
