That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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