she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize