dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
