if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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