Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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