Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
