My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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