Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
