Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Damn. That makes sense

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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(913): View more from Kansas

is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

(312): View more from Illinois

you sound like my dream girl

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(760): View more from California

I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

(508): View more from Massachusetts

These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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(519): View more from Ontario

Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?

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