if you like me you must not know who I am
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
