My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
