im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
