batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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