I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
