sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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