We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
