Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
