He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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