You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
