just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
