As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
