I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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