she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize