He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
