I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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