I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
