elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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