I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
