Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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