NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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